I thought it would be much easier to write about the ‘memory’ I chose, but it winded up being a little trickier than I thought. I am no play-by-play commentator and that made it kind of hard to convey what I wanted the reader to see.
I chose the topic though because I am passionate about how good this athlete really was and he has such a tragic story. The second draft of the essay doesn’t even resemble the first one so much. I took a lot of the garbage out of it and tried to tighten it up. I put more emotion into the work the second and third time around and cut out a lot of the comedy angle I was originally working. I kept some of my rants, but toned it down a bit.
I got good feedback from my peers, and it helped me see what they were missing or wanting more information on. They all seemed to want the name so I figured put it at the end. I really wanted to not mention the name at all and just leave people hanging. I look forward to the next assignment because it seems right up my alley.