2nd Draft of Artifact Essay

I changed a lot with the second draft of my essay, and I still feel it is rough, but I like it much better than the initial draft.  I didn’t even keep much from that version.  It did begin to sound like a summary of the story and that is not what I am shooting for.  I want to create something, tell you why I like it, tell you why you will like it, and give some information about myself as well.  

I like how I described the elements in movies that I enjoy.  The man v nature element is always something I have been a fan of.  And when you toss bad ass Liam Neeson into the mix it only makes it that much better.  My groupmates have helped me out tremendously.  They wanted the paper to feel less summary like and more story driven.  I think I have managed that, but I realize the draft is still rough.  At one point I just stopped talking about one thing and forced myself to move on and discuss the film.  The transition between the two might be a bit bumpy, so that is probably what I would change about the piece so far.  I also will probably drop some of the harsh language, but I feel it establishes the fact that I was angry in the opening paragraph.  Anyhow, enjoyed writing this piece and will probably come back to it at some point and polish the piece.


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